So I have been working on re-building what remains of my life. I can go for long periods of time without obsessing about when and where I will see Genghis. Given everything that has happened and the work I have done to come through the other end, I feel good and work everyday to be positive and happy. I still linger over the thought of Genghis though… but I come back to just knowing that one day I will see him again and if it is meant to be then… then it will be. I still miss the sound of his voice, his touch, kiss the taste of his skin. Really he is delicious… just delicious. I worked up the courage to skype with him recently and was feeling good. He still lingered when he talked about the last time we were together… that was him, not me. We continued to text after that and it slowly came to light that he was going to be spending part of his leave in Bahrain… ugh, I could feel it welling up inside of me - BUT - and this is big for me - I knew then it was not about me, never was, it’s all about him. I really don’t think that he is in a good place yet. I am kind of surprised that he returns to Bahrain… not quite sure what that is about - of course SHE is there - and of course I am not ready to cede yet.
(Source: playingunderthetableandreaming, via night-onthe-run)